The Wonders of Chocolate
by Vaako
Summary: Naruto recieves a box of chocolates not meant for him. Slash.


The Wonders of Chocolate:

A Predictable Fan Fiction

"O, 'tis but ye _wonders of ye chocolate_ art limitless..." – Anonymous. An ancient, antique old proverb; first found deep in the wilds of fan fiction archives 1410.

Naruto was not training at the moment, Naruto was stuffing his face with the yummy-yummy chocolates that Sakura had given him for a reason he'd rather not try to think about. He'd rather just eat the chocolates and imagine she gave them to him because she liked him.

Okay, maybe he wouldn't just imagine it – he'd make sure to tell everyone, just as soon as he'd finished them off! He didn't want to have to share them with Sasuke after all – or stinky Kiba!

Kiba - damn him! Naruto could just imagine him grabbing a handful with his smelly dog hands! "Damn you Kiba!" Naruto shrieked, shaking a fist at the distant shape of Kiba doing press-ups with his team, "Stay away from my chocolates!"

The distant shape of Kiba fell face first into the earth, and the tiny enraged speck began shaking its tiny enraged fist at Naruto. Naruto chose to ignore him and continued to eat in relative silence, apart from the snuffling sounds he made while eating.

He'd been chewing on a toffee pensively for a good few minutes before he reached blindly for another and his hand closed on nothing. His head snapped down and his hands scrabbled at the grass. The box of chocolates – that his darling Sakura had given him – they were... they were...They were gone! And there could be only one explanation in Naruto's mind!

"SASUKE! YOU _BASTARD!_"

He'd been correct in assuming it was The Bastard. Hollow laughter echoed all around him, chilling the blood in his veins. Sasuke did not laugh, ever. He knew that guy, and it just didn't happen. That he was laughing now...

Could Sasuke be drunk? He'd never seen him drunk, he might be a jolly drunk... but Naruto didn't think that was likely... Perhaps he'd become even more insane than he normally was, maybe... maybe the chocolates had been meant for him – Gasp. Perhaps he was madly jealous and had come to exact revenge?

He had to warn Sakura! Surely she'd be next – gasp! Unless... unless?

"Naruto, do you perhaps... like chocolate?" Sasuke stood before him, looking down with his crazy eyes.

Naruto screamed now in delayed reaction and covered his face and screamed again like a woman whose clothes had vanished while she was giving a speech. While he was screaming he happened to peek between his fingers and spot His Chocolates From Sakura in The Bastards hands. The box was open and there was only one chocolate left.

"Oi, you dirty thief! Those were mine! Give them back!" Naruto stood with a hand on his hip, the other hand held out waiting.

Sasuke held them up and away, "Without a fight? Where's the fun in that, piss-head?"

Naruto gasped at the never before head of insult. His hands flew to his hair self-consciously and his eyes narrowed as he wondered about Sasuke's actions. Maybe there was something truly wrong with the other boy to make him act like this...

Something maybe... something had snapped... inside.

He had to get out of here. He had to act subtle or the other boy would realise something was wrong. "O-hohoho! Actually, I see there is only one left after all – you might as well have it! Good day!" Naruto turned and what began as walking quickly became a run.

Naruto could feel the chakra and hear the footsteps of the other boys close behind him and catching up! Tears were streaming from Naruto's eyes, "You bastard!" He wailed, "Stop chasing me! I said you could have it!"

The footsteps got faster and Naruto added his own burst of speed. He'd head back towards the training grounds he'd be safe there! He closed his eyes for a second, but a second too long as he ran straight into the bastard, who'd somehow gotten in front of him.

"Sasuke! I didn't see you there!" Naruto rubbed the back of his neck and edged sideways, play it cool, play it cool... "I have to take a dump. Right now. Bye!" Naruto saw Kiba, through a break in the trees, Kiba, glorious Kiba!

He pumped his little legs as fast as he could – but he wasn't moving. Clouds of dust and earth and grass were flying up around him. Sasuke was holding onto the back of his jacket, keeping his in place.

Sasuke grabbed him with his other hand and turned him around to face him. "Running away from a fight, Idiot?" he smirked. Naruto realised then that Sasuke knew how to push his buttons. It didn't stop him from reacting.

"Oh. Oh! That is _it_! You're gonna die now, you stupid bastard!" Naruto swung and twisted in Sasuke's grip but for an unknown reason he was unable to escape.

Sasuke let go with one hand and held up a chocolate, the last one. "I bet," Sasuke rolled each word on his tongue, savouring the moment. "I bet that you cannot take this chocolate from me." And he dropped Naruto.

Naruto sprung up immediately, "Oh ho! A bet? I love bets! I am gonna wipe the grass with your arse, pretty boy!" Sasuke blushed furiously and unusually clumsy he popped the chocolate in his mouth. "And," Continued Naruto, "And, whatthehellwasthat? What was that? You put it in your mouth! You forfeit, bastard! I win!"

"You giwve uwp thwen?"

"What?"

Sasuke popped the chocolate out, "I said you give up then – hey!" Naruto had made a grab for the chocolate. Sasuke hastily popped it back in his mouth. "Wooks wike ywou wose agwain!"

"You planned this, Sasuke!" Naruto charged him and surprised himself by actually knocking the other boy down. Sitting atop his bemused teammate, Naruto struck a thoughtful pose. He wasn't as stupid as most people chose to believe.

Not stupid in the ways of love!

Here was Sasuke, stealing his gift of love from Sakura, even when– and here Naruto cringed – it had been offered to Sasuke first before being dumped on Naruto. Here was Sasuke stealing the last one and teasing and challenging Naruto into a state of great excitement. Here was Sasuke letting him win a fight, here he was waiting for him to retrieve the chocolate.

Sasuke... Sasuke wanted him to kiss him. Now Naruto could be very cruel instead and poke his fingers in there for the chocolate – and probably get bitten, or Naruto could kiss him.

The boy beneath him was beginning to struggle a little and Naruto unconsciously tightened his hold. He thought it over another minute, before giving in. He sighed and shook his head at himself, and leant forwards to whisper in Sasuke's ear, "Sasuke, if yo don't take me out for ramen after this, you are seriously dead."

Then, on the verge of laughing he gave Sasuke a feather-light kiss on the lips. He sat up a little to see the other boy was barely breathing, his eyes wide with shock. Naruto bent his head again and kissed him a little harder on the lips.

But even in his state of seeming shocked Sasuke was not relinquishing his chocolate. Arsehole. Naruto reached down and slid a hand up Sasuke's side, up his shirt... and tickled him under his arm.

Sasuke shot up with a curse and Naruto stuck his tongue inexpertly in his mouth. It tasted of chocolate, but the chocolate was gone! Naruto pulled back immediately. "You cheating bastard!"

Sasuke was blushing, "Well you took too long and it melted!"

"A lie!" Screamed Naruto, "That was a toffee and they last longer!"

"Alright!" Screamed Sasuke, "I swallowed it by accident okay – when you tickled me!"

Naruto threw his hands up in the air, "Then what was the whole point of the bet? If you just wanted a kiss you should've asked _Sakura!_ She'd do it no problem!" Naruto turned his back on Sasuke, who glared at him and stormed around to face him.

"I wanted to kiss you but you weren't getting any of my hints and I had to ask Konohamaru for advice!"

"'Konohamaru?' You went to- I give up! Come here!" Naruto grabbed Sasuke by the shoulders, then the hair, bunching hair and clothing into his fists he pulled the Uchiha close. Sasuke groaned deep in his throat and Naruto grinned, but he knew he couldn't take it much further.

Not on the training grounds, not in front of all these people. After all, he'd been eating those chocolates waiting for the rest of his team to arrive for training and they just had, during their embarrassing argument.

He pulled away and patted Sasuke on both cheeks. He turned to meet the stares and the laughter. Yes, laugh it up Kiba. Go on. Okay stop now. "God damn it Dog-boy!" Kiba ran and Naruto took off after him, "Stop laughing!"

Sasuke wiped at his mouth and tried to straighten his clothes, not realising his hair stood up in bunches. He glanced around, unhappily meeting the judging gazes of his peers. The surprised eyes of Shikamaru, the docile confusion of Chouji, Tenten and... oh god.

"Oh my!" Said Kakashi, eye wide and porno forgotten. Sakura was clutching their teacher's sleeve, a finger still raised, pointing at him. Her face was beet red and her eyes looked feverish in either sickness or diarrhoea.

"Well I certainly wouldn't have done that if I'd known there were to be so many witnesses." There was a long silence, during which Sasuke turned around and calmly fled the scene.

Sakura's face dropped as she remembered the chocolates she'd given Naruto. The one's laced with a minor love-potion – or so she'd been told. He must've shared them with Sasuke somehow and they'd, they'd...! A cunning smile crept over her face as she imagined the limitless possibilities of this discovery. She let go of her teachers sleeve and picked up a wrapper. 


End file.
